I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we m
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!!!!!!!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!!
Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher ?
and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Ya just might want to pass this along.......
