Friday, March 11, 2011




I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.


How come we choose from just
  two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss   America ? []
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.


I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! []
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'


Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we m[]essed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!


Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

A completely brilliant question!!!!!!!

[] Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!!
Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher
and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'


And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Ya just might want to pass this along.......