Thursday, January 6, 2011

When I met Wayne

It's kind of funny how things work out in my life,  I really never thought I would ever marry again, in fact I had always been dead set against it.  There were  two reasons for this, one that stems back to when I was a child, and the other from my first marriage.

My first marriage was a train wreck from the start,  He first started hitting me on the day we got married and it went on for several years. I wanted so badly to be everything I thought a good wife should be, but much to my dismay, it just wasn't good enough. He ended up getting a 16 year old girl pregnant, he was 27 at the time.  As I look back on those times I have to wonder what the hell I was thinking! I didn't want to have a failed marriage, so I told him we could raise the child together, but he wanted the 16 year old instead of me and my world shattered.

I fell into a whirl wind of self destructive madness. I drank all the time and did a few lines here and there. Drinking however was not my downfall, as one night with too much to drink, I fell out of the bar stool into an alley and woke up in my puke... YUCK ! Cured my drinking habit right then !!  The lines though, yep that was the one that stuck. I felt very free from troubles and sank deep into the clutches.

Flash forward 20 some odd years.... I am what is considered a functioning addict.  I work everyday, eat, sleep, pay the bills, the whole nine yards, but everyday I smoked meth... MY thinking was, I have no children, no family, no reason not to and I'm not hurting anyone, so why not !!  Isn't that just how addiction works?  Well it came to pass someone did get hurt... I'll save that for another day, but I will say I ended up leaving the scene of an accident, because I was high and didn't want to go to jail for being high,(yeah , bad move). In my heart I still hurt for what happened, I never thought I would be the one to hurt anyone, let alone be the reason someone died. But it happened... I turned to my best friends, knowing that I would have to "clean up" before I turned myself in, and they stood by me  through it all. I spent 18 months in prison, probably the best thing that ever happened to me up to that time, since I was headed nowhere fast.

When I went into the halfway house prior to being released, I had to be normal, which for the most part meant I had to get a job. Again my best friend, Lynn, helped me out. She was working for a window shade manufacturer and got me an interview the day before Christmas 2002.  That was the first time I met Wayne, he was the factory Supervisor, and much to my surprise he hired me on the spot.  That is when my dream of a normal life began.

After months of working together, we dated secretly for over a year, and married December 2005. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary... I am truly blessed! He is the greatest influence in my life. Every good thing that can be said about a man, a husband or a friend, he is. He is artistic, crazy funny, works hard and best of all he loves me, even when I don't really love myself. 

Thank you Sunshine Man, Your Princess Moonbeam loves you to the end of life.

For those of you who have made it through this ramble of mine, it is time for today's Prompt, which you can write with me on my poetry blog Dodge Writes... here is your tease... Today's Prompt is write a write a love poem in 15 words or less

Hope to see you joining in too